Every morning I wake up at home in Chicago about 5am so that I can get my dogs out for a walk before the virus is stirring. The next thing I do is check for the latest tip from China on how best to live the quarantined life. I usually wake to an avalanche of dings from the Chinese messaging app, WeChat, bearing essential advice from friends on the mainland on how to survive this nightmare with mind, body and family relationships intact.

One day it’s a flow chart to teach me how to doff gloves, mask and clothes in the right order after my daily outing. The next it’s an increasingly frantic admonition to “cover my sewer” (although I still haven’t found a sewer to cover or understood why I should do so).

Is it safe to take the lift to our 9th-floor apartment? Should I take the stairs? A friend replies that some poor soul in Beijing caught coronavirus from stairwell air. Rappel down the side of the building then? Perhaps not, with two aged Chinese mutts in tow.