Why do so many men feel disconnected from fashion? One reason could be the distance between catwalk shows and the shopping experience itself. The new menswear season has just begun with London Collections: Men, where brands are showing their wares for autumn/winter 2015. But while the catwalk is all about image, idea and concept, for a customer in the changing room the big question is: does the damn thing actually fit?

To test current sizing, I tried on three pairs of smart casual trousers from disparate brands in what I consider my fit: 34in waist, which translates in Europe as 50. I’m 41 years old, 6ft 3in, and deceptively lean. I’m actually big boned: if my hips were transposed to a female, they’d be described as “child-bearing”.

A pair of 34in tailored pants by Maison Martin Margiela cut uncomfortably into my stomach: there was no way I’d leave the changing room in them. Next were some grey flannel trousers by Thom Browne, who’s known for his extreme slender cut. In a size three, apparently equivalent to 50, there was easily waistband room to spare. Not so with a pair of navy chinos by Ralph Lauren Purple Label. I’m going to say two words, and then we can move on: camel toe.