It's quite possible that education is a complete waste of time. That was my conclusion, having tangled with a coffee machine in Switzerland recently. I had escaped, courtesy of a very cheap ticket, to the Alps to redo the cashflow forecasts for my business in preparation for a visit to the (still solvent) bank. A generous friend lent me his beautiful chalet, complete with Sky TV (which enabled me to listen to Radio 4), an 18m swimming pool and a coffee machine.

It was a Nespresso machine, and we have one at work, so you would have thought that I could have coped. But (a) ours is a bit more basic and (b) I have never used it. I struggle to get enthusiastic about "proper" coffee - instant works fine for me - and I am always suspicious about anything that feels the need to employ George Clooney in its advertising.

Now, I am sure that Mr Clooney is a thoroughly engaging individual with a sparkling line in dinner conversation and is, no doubt, a coffee connoisseur to boot. My Pilates-Loving Girlfriend says he is the only man she has ever met who is as attractive in the flesh as on screen. (PLG, you need to meet Anshu Jain, head of global markets at Deutsche Bank). Be that as it may, we acquired an office Nespresso machine because my colleagues were fed up with instant and, as regular readers know, I cannot operate a coffee plunger.