In the course of it, I noticed that most of the academic prizes were being won by Chinese and Indian children in neat uniforms who were being videoed by proud parents. There were a few Jewish boys who seemed to be netting some trophies but the Wasp contingent was not getting much, save a handful of prizes for art. These boys sloped up to the stage in their tatty blazers, with long hair flapping while their cultured parents clapped indulgently.

Weeks later, I was invited to a more exclusive do at the same school. It was “by invitation only”, designed for parents whose sons were dispatching their homework in five minutes on the bus or who were generally being a pain in the backside.

Cursing at having to leave work early, I showed up at the school to find that all the other mothers looked uncannily like me. They were almost all white, professional, middle-class women with that hunted look that comes from having cut short work in order to receive a bollocking on behalf of one's child.