The owl: symbol of wisdom, knowledge, transformation and good fortune. What better herald of the New Year could I hope for, winging its silent way into my inbox? Sadly, however, the owl in question is not Athena’s companion, swooping low over my personal battlefield to signal imminent victory in ongoing fights, as it was said to do for the Ancient Greeks. No, this creature is a Kermit-green animation, only too vocal and emotionally volatile in alarming ways.

I refer, of course, to Duo. The crazy anthropomorphised personification that pursues users of the Duolingo language-learning app, with his huge eyes, cutesy beak, tufty feathers and mastery of arch emotional manipulation. As the last person in my family and social circle to sign up, this summer I embarked on Duolingo’s Italian course on my smartphone. Ever since, there has been a flapping and hooting nag on my tail.

The emails have subject fields that veer from, “We missed you last week!” to, “Your Italian skills are getting mouldy” (complete with nausea emoji). At the more extreme end is a full-on weep from Duo lamenting that he’s been dumped. Those big eyes sure do fill up quickly, but us unfeeling humans should expect nothing less: “You made Duo sad — but he kept learning without you.”